I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
