I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize