When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
