The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
