everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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