I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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