Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
