and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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