Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
