I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
