We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Your cock deserves a montage
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i believe in u and ur pee
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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