I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
