If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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