I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
