Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize