I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
