I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
