I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
