I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just high enough for therapy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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