Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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