She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
