strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
