my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
