He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize