two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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