It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
