i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
