When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
