I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
