If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
