i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
