Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
