just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
