dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
