idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize