I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Naked. naked and bneed help.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
