no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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