Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
