Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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