My balls are so social today.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
