i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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