Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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