It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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