Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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