why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
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