I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You ruined the universe
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
