In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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