Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
