Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
