eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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