good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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