You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
