the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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