There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
