So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
