Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
