Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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