I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
