I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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