Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
