I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize