Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
